Becoming The Best Wife Ever On Our 9th Wedding Anniversary

Today is my 9th wedding anniversary and in an effort to keep my marriage fun and exciting I took to the ‘inter webs’ to search for advice on being the best wife possible. The internet did not disappoint and I found a blog that posted 40 great tips to be such a wife.

Seeing that I put this task off until 2 days before our anniversary, I will not be able to complete all 40 steps, although, I feel pretty secure in my wifely ranking that I don’t need to do all 40 steps to push me over the top, just saying. 

With that said, I have selected 9 Steps to share with my husband, so, join me as I spend the whole day annoying and alienating my Husband on our 9th Anniversary. #Truelove

1.Frame a nice family picture for him for his bedside table, desk, or cruiser. Bonus points for a nice note on the back.

This seemed easy enough! I grabbed a cute frame and after a quick google search for “nice family picture” and a click of the ‘print’ button, step one was completed! It really is a darling picture, isn’t it? I named them the Howard family. Brad, (an investment banker) Julia (Once a lawyer, now a travel blogger) and little Ryan and Georgia.

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Oh..and just know I couldn’t forget about the ‘bonus points’! I find the ‘Eighth note’ to be one of the nicest notes, don’t you?

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2.Buy his favorite candy bar when you go grocery shopping.

-Wow! Another easy one, although it seems like a waste. We have separate taste in candy bars and cookies ’n’ cream is far from my favorite but maybe this step is designed to make us see our spouses point of view. Oh well, I never say no to chocolate!

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3.Leave a note (or several) for him to find randomly.

-This one is a little more time consuming, but important in any relationship and I know just what I’m going to tell him. We’ve been on a Cheers kick lately, so in true Cliff Clavin style, I left 20 ‘important but mostly unknown facts’ around the house (read them all for yourself here). 

He already knows I love him but did he know that cats can’t taste sweet food because of a genetic issue? Nope, didn’t think so. Knowledge is power and love.

4.Help your kids make him something.

-We don’t have any kids, but we do have 2 minimally creative dogs and one cat who thinks throwing litter around a room is an art form, what is the worst that could happen?

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Turns out, the ‘worst’ that could happen is 3 dirty, pissed off pets and paint everywhere. EVERY. WHERE. Of all the questions asked of me today the one, “But why did you choose RED paint?” will be the one that resinates the most. It looks like I slaughtered all of Santas reindeer as they then struggled for their life on my patio…

5.Tell him one reason you love him (or randomly text it to him.)

-Just one?! Thats amature hour. I say lets kick this affection up a notch and bombard his inbox with nothing but sweet and touching reasons why he is my forever.

6.Get dolled up just for him, like you did when you were dating.

-Again, this one seems a bit off, but I’ll try to recreate the magic. We started dating in college, so it may take me a minute to dig out my ISU hoodies and sweat pants that I seemed to live in for 4 years straight…

7.Hand over control of the remote for a night or two.

-This task wasn’t specific enough for me, we have 3 different remotes, how am i supposed to know which one to give him? Being the bigger person I gave him the remote that turns the TV on and off. He always likes that. I’ll maintain ownership of the sound bar remote and the Apple TV remote, both of those are too small and annoying to keep track of when you want to change the station..

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8. Buy him a small gift.

-You know, thinking back to Step 2 where I bought his favorite candy bar for myself to enjoy, I thought that would be the perfect small gift for him as well!

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9. Plan a special date night, start to finish.

– You may be thinking that I just wasted a whole day leaving weird and confusing messages for my husband, but after 9 years this is just another day in the trenches for him and a ‘special’ day was had by all!

 

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While The Husband is Away, The Wife Will Play….

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My husband is gone for work for the week, and these are 10 things I will be doing in his absence. He may or may not be excited he isn’t here to join me.

  • 3 words: Gilmore Girls Marathon
  • Cheesy Romance novels and puppy snuggles
  • The house temperature will be 70, then 75, then 70 then 75 again….in one hour
  • I will Sleep in the middle of the bed with all my pillows
  • Text him every half hour asking him what he’s up to
  • Homemade Zoodle Shrimp Alfredo all to myself
  • Oil changed on the car…wait…this doesn’t sound like an advantage.
  • Give my doggo’s too many treats and lots of kisses
  • Bubble baths and while playing the best of Cher and Abba
  • The following movies will be on repeat
    • You’ve Got Mail
    • Sound of Music
    • The Mirror has Two Faces
    • Beaches
    • The Bridges of Madison County
    • Pretty Woman
    • Sleepless in Seattle

Because in most things in life there is balance, these are the 10 things I will miss with his absence. Again, he may or may not be excited he isn’t here to join me

  • I will miss telling him to roll over every time he snores in my general direction
  • I will miss reading him these blogs before I post them for a laugh test
  • I will miss the smell of his body wash wafting into the room at 5 a.m. after his morning shower
  • I will miss him showing me a million things on Facebook, even though I’ve already seen them lol
  • I will miss him talking to me about his flights that day even though I don’t understand
  • I will miss the way he makes pumping gas look so effortless ;).
  • I will miss him ‘yelling’ at me for sorting the dirty clothes wrong
  • I will miss him ‘yelling’ at me for loading the dishwasher wrong (confession, I’m a terrible housewife)
  • I will miss seeing how excited the dogs get after he walks through the door after he has been at work all day
  • I will miss the way he talks to our puppies early in the morning when he gently wakes them up to take them outside for potty time.

This post started as a silly weekday ramble, but the more I wrote the more I was reminded of two things…

  1. How much of the little and big things that I love about my sweet husband.
  2. So many people I know are missing their spouses for more serious reasons such as military deployment or death. This makes my complaints of a five-day separation sound trivial and minuscule.

Hug your loved ones and don’t take the little things for granted 🙂

La La La La La..Living the Apartment Life

I swore up and down after my college years I would never again dwell in a house that shared walls, floors and ceilings with other people and after a wonderful year and a half living in a house we had fallen in love with, we are right back to square one. An apartment. Sigh.  The next is a list of items that remind me daily of how much I miss having a house..enjoy.

As I recall it Snow White was awoken to the beautiful animals of the Forrest singing in a heavenly tune. Similarly, I have often awoken to the sounds of saw blades as the construction crew works on the apartments outside. Many A time I’ve been greeted with the sweet sound vocals of Amedeo estevan (one of the workers who introduced himself to me last week) singing loudly outside my door. Amedeo, if I do say so myself, has a lovely voice!

Living on the second floor apartment is like having box seats at the opera. If you pick you location just right, your new home could be center stage of a real life soap opera. For instance, our neighbors across the way have been fighting this past week (we are talking clothes flying, doors slamming, dogs barking)..this is where the Adirondack chairs on the balcony come in to play. They sit low enough where the people fighting can’t see me, but I can clearly see them. Apartment Dweller Tip: Warning, while your may be hidden by railing of the porch, they WILL able to smell the popcorn you just popped just for this event. Next thing you know you’ve been court ordered to appear before a jury on your neighbors behalf.  and lets face it..‘ain’t nobody got time for that’

In conjunction with the last point, it is a given that the chances increase of your statistical probability of being on or seeing an episodes of cops filmed live in front of you..Apartment dweller tip:always look ur best! Never know when the cameras will be rolling! 🙂

Having no bike racks and living on the second floor means Athletically challenged people with 2 bikes..don’t ever ride bikes..true story.

Apartment dweller tip: Potted flowers are an essential piece to separating your stylish balcony from another’s ..that is unless you are me and living “non human” objects require far more of a commitment than you are able to commit to right now, in which case those are an eye sore…and you will fit right in Winking smile 

Evolution of Jennifers Laundry….The largest item on my list that reminds me of how much I miss living in a house is the process of doing laundry. I hate laundry..I miss being little..all I had to do was put the dirty laundry in the hamper and just like dry cleaning pick them up when done..fluffed and folded! I had a sweet ride on the laundry train for close to 17 years until college, college was the end of the end. I now present to you the evolution of Jennifer’s laundry.

It was my senior year of college and it was also my first Year of Marriage (we got married two weeks after graduation) All four years of college were nothing more that thwarted attempts of dragging a weeks worth of laundry to my moms house. It wasn’t until my last roommate before my husband did we have the chance of doing laundry in the same building and floor that we lived on. This lasted for 2 glorious semesters and then it was over just like that. Once I got married, I inherited twice the loads of laundry and to top it all off, our first apartment had no washer and dryer. 2 wedding rings and and an I do later and BAM we became a happily married nomadic laundry tribe. Wondering to and fro, doing our laundry where ever we could. “Of course we would love to come over and have dinner with you guys..should I bring a desert, also..do you mind if we borrow your washer and dryer?”

Luckily for us 3 months in to wedded bliss our lease was up in our ‘laundryless’ apartment and we were moving up in the world..for the first time ever as a married couple we had a washer a dryer in the same house and on the same level!!!!! It was the laundry honeymoon I have always wanted! No more hauling baskets and detergent to other houses and alienating our family friends! It was just us and our laundry!!

But the laundry honeymoon didn’t last forever..a new job opportunity meant a new house..and a new house means another round of laundry roulette "step right  up folks. Place your bets and take your chances in whirlpool wheel of death!" granted at this point in the game I was genuinely happy to have a nice house in a safe neighbor hood..pet friendly and as long as the washer and dryer wasn’t adjacent to the outhouse in the back yard..we were good! This time around the washer and dryer were in the basement..and while that is was a step back from the "honeymoon days" this round had a delightful And rather intriguing surprise; a laundry chute!

The Chute: Now any kid product of the late 80s should always associate a laundry chute with one memory and that is Kevin from Home Alone shooting toy soldiers with his brothers bb gun..it was cool then, and yes my friends it’s cool now! Not only was is the chute a magical portal of commutation to nag at my husband or meow at my cat from another floor..but it also served as the epic of all epic hiding places. You know, that one hiding place that you have planned out ahead in your mind for any environment you frequent..work,home,the gym (well,maybe not the gym for me) but those places you spend the most time. it is in these places that I have a hiding place planned out if anyone ever tried to break in/rob or if an impromptu hide and seek match erupted, I would be safe and golden! In my new house..the laundry chute was that place! I had already decided based on estimated measurements and actual attempts (I was bored) that I could fit myself and one cat (the quietest cat preferably) successfully in the laundry chute without being detected..the other cat would need to fend for himself..life’s rough..

Present Day….let me catch you up. Matthew and I have been in the great state of Texas going on 10 months..and this nomadic laundry tribe is still alive and kicking with possibly the worst of all laundry experiences…we are back to apartment life and this time while the apartment itself is nicer, the second story trek that involves me leaving the building, going down 2 flights of stairs (then back up them later) walking around the back to the next building and doing laundry in a room that equals that of a low level frat house..is less than ideal. If you’ve read this far you are probably thinking 1 of 2 things..either "grow up..it’s laundry..your an adult..stop complaining" or your asking yourself "Oh goodness Jennifer, how have you lasted this long you" well those of you asking the first question..I agree and the first step is admitting you have a problem and this post serves as your official notice! For those who are asking the second..I would say to you..”I KNOW RIGHT!” Thanks for the back up 🙂

So what’s it all about?! This post serves as another notice..a notice of gratitude and thanks to my husband..for the last 4 years the man has heard me whine and complain and has seen me wear and re-wear clothes until the point of no return and what has he done? EVERYTHING! 🙂 I often hear other girls talk about their husbands and how they never pick up, never do dishes and don’t even know how to do laundry..that is not the case in this house hold..my husband does laundry every Sunday while I’m at work..measuring just the right amount of softener..detergent..separating colors..drying the items that need dried and hanging up the items that can’t go in the dryer..that’s right ladies..he hangs up my bras!! ( my " I trained my husband the hang up bras..and you can too!" book is due out next fall) he does not complain..he does not try to get out of it..he does this because he loves me (and values my sanity Smile)..and does not see the benefit of turning underwear inside out for a day two reprise Smile I love my husband..I love that helps with everything..and I love most of all that he puts up with me and my ‘not soo June cleaver ways!