I’m Officially a Texan, Y’all

Well, it is official, after almost 7 years I, Jennifer Lynne Shidler, a born and raised Hoosier, am officially a Texan, and I have H-E-B to thank! YEEE HAW!

“But Jennifer, wouldn’t your “Texan” status have been granted the minute you got your driver’s license or purchased property?”

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Well, I can see how you would think these acts would make you a true Texan, but the truth is, this is a two-step process. You can accept Texas all you want and say “y’all hail Mary’s” until your face turns blue, but until Texas accepts you back, a true Texan you are not.

Low and behold, on Friday, November 9 2018 at 11:58 am I received my admission letter in the form of a Facebook notification.

“Facebook? How, ah, informal of them..”

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Hey! I don’t need a fancy document to prove my new-found state membership! Besides, some of the greatest most powerful people in the world use social media to get their points across and no one thinks any differently about them….(sigh)

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Anyway, back to how all this started. Earlier in the day I came across a Facebook video (watch it HERE) of a wayward Turkey who had accidently made its way into the living room of an unsuspecting couple. The video was cute, I had to hit the share button and tagged my favorite grocery store, HEB, and went about my day.

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What’s HEB you ask? Only the greatest supermarket ever (that’s right Kroger, I said it). They are based out of Texas and there are at least 7 of them within a half hour drive of my house. They are the only place I feel comfortable buying sushi from that isn’t a restaurant, they offer curbside pick-up and they deliver straight to your door. THEY DO IT ALL.

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I was putting away laundry and my phone went off. There it was. HEB commented on my post (blue verified check mark and all). In fact, not only did they acknowledge my existence with a comment, but they threw in an exclamation point and a winking face emoji just to boost my ego. Did we just become best friends? YEP!

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I always knew this day would come but I had no idea it would be on some idle Friday while in my pajamas folding laundry.

To my dear Indiana, it’s been a great ride. You taught me a lot about life and you will always be my first home, but I must go now. My grocery store needs me. Yall take care now, ya hear.

 

 

 

 

 

What Do You Mean There is No Internet For A Week?

This is the story of one girls heroic tale of a week without Instagram, Twitter and Facebook, how she survived, and her efforts to educate those who may find themselves in similar situations…

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I boarded the Carnival Magic with a kick in my step and a smile on my face, excited for what the week had to offer me, and then it hit me. No Facebook. No Instagram. No twitter. I was prepared for fun, sun, formal nights and long nights, but I was not prepared for this…

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Day 1:

Dear Diary,
Today I spent the better part of the afternoon writing and leaving notes all over my cabin for our steward to read. Appropriately so, I left room for him to comment below, circle like, if he found the note to be funny and worthy and an extra copy attached for him to take with him just in case he felt the need to share my thoughts with others. I race back to the room hourly for any new notifications. Fingers crossed for any written communication. As of now, he still only communicates verbally when our paths cross. Rude.

Day 2:

Dear Diary,
I keep clicking the Facebook button on my phone out of habit; scrolling down to load more, but sadly I see the same 7 Facebook status’s all day, every day. Thank you to Roberta H, Liz S, Debbie B, Erik A, Brianna c, Shelly P for your words that have given me soo much strength to survive these last 7 days. I only wish I had realized that my last status was it for 7 whole days. I would have said more, stalked more, given the people more of what they want…cat pictures. We never truly know what we have until we have lost it

Day 3:

Dear Diary,
Today I contemplated training one of the local birds we came across on Jamaica, to carry notes of funny status updates and beach puns back home to Facebook and twitter. but alas, I could not train the bird to “tweet” my messages in 140 characters or less. Back to the drawing board.

Day 4:

Dear Diary,
Last night I hit a low point as my husband awoke concerned that I was not laying next to him in bed, only to find me huddled in the corner with my cell phone rocking back and fourth murmuring #hashtag I can’t take this anymore…..I fear I won’t survive, my spirits are running low. Please tell my cats I love them..and should have never left their side.

Day 5:

Dear Diary,
Slight paralysis when eating as I’m not quite sure how to taste my food if it is not first captured in a Valencia filter and followed with the hashtags #yummyinmytummy #beefitswhatfordinner #nomnomnom #icanhazcheezeburger. In an effort to quench this insatiable “thirst” I have begun eating all the food available to me. My method is start on deck 10 and work my way down the elevator eating my way off this ship. I suspect others suffer from the same disorder, as I see the same people in line at every stop everyday. None of us seem to be full. When will this madness end.IMG_2364IMG_2423IMG_2365

Day 6:

Dear Diary,
If a tree falls in the forest, and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound? Furthermore, if you go swimming with a stingray, and u don’t post pictures of it immediately on line for all to see, did it really happen?

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Day 7:

Dear Diary,
I really miss my cats. In an effort to cope, I’ve begun naming/talking to the towel animals. I tell them of our adventures in port that day and they, like all towel animals should, listen to my stories before settling down for snuggling with me for nap time. …later that day… Dear Diary, Hello again, I know I already wrote today, but something particularly distressing has happened that i feels needs documentation. My phone battery has not died in three days, I don’t know what’s wrong with it. First thing I will do if I survive this week is to take it to the apple store. It’s a good thing I bought apple care. :(

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