Becoming The Best Wife Ever On Our 9th Wedding Anniversary

Today is my 9th wedding anniversary and in an effort to keep my marriage fun and exciting I took to the ‘inter webs’ to search for advice on being the best wife possible. The internet did not disappoint and I found a blog that posted 40 great tips to be such a wife.

Seeing that I put this task off until 2 days before our anniversary, I will not be able to complete all 40 steps, although, I feel pretty secure in my wifely ranking that I don’t need to do all 40 steps to push me over the top, just saying. 

With that said, I have selected 9 Steps to share with my husband, so, join me as I spend the whole day annoying and alienating my Husband on our 9th Anniversary. #Truelove

1.Frame a nice family picture for him for his bedside table, desk, or cruiser. Bonus points for a nice note on the back.

This seemed easy enough! I grabbed a cute frame and after a quick google search for “nice family picture” and a click of the ‘print’ button, step one was completed! It really is a darling picture, isn’t it? I named them the Howard family. Brad, (an investment banker) Julia (Once a lawyer, now a travel blogger) and little Ryan and Georgia.

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Oh..and just know I couldn’t forget about the ‘bonus points’! I find the ‘Eighth note’ to be one of the nicest notes, don’t you?

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2.Buy his favorite candy bar when you go grocery shopping.

-Wow! Another easy one, although it seems like a waste. We have separate taste in candy bars and cookies ’n’ cream is far from my favorite but maybe this step is designed to make us see our spouses point of view. Oh well, I never say no to chocolate!

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3.Leave a note (or several) for him to find randomly.

-This one is a little more time consuming, but important in any relationship and I know just what I’m going to tell him. We’ve been on a Cheers kick lately, so in true Cliff Clavin style, I left 20 ‘important but mostly unknown facts’ around the house (read them all for yourself here). 

He already knows I love him but did he know that cats can’t taste sweet food because of a genetic issue? Nope, didn’t think so. Knowledge is power and love.

4.Help your kids make him something.

-We don’t have any kids, but we do have 2 minimally creative dogs and one cat who thinks throwing litter around a room is an art form, what is the worst that could happen?

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Turns out, the ‘worst’ that could happen is 3 dirty, pissed off pets and paint everywhere. EVERY. WHERE. Of all the questions asked of me today the one, “But why did you choose RED paint?” will be the one that resinates the most. It looks like I slaughtered all of Santas reindeer as they then struggled for their life on my patio…

5.Tell him one reason you love him (or randomly text it to him.)

-Just one?! Thats amature hour. I say lets kick this affection up a notch and bombard his inbox with nothing but sweet and touching reasons why he is my forever.

6.Get dolled up just for him, like you did when you were dating.

-Again, this one seems a bit off, but I’ll try to recreate the magic. We started dating in college, so it may take me a minute to dig out my ISU hoodies and sweat pants that I seemed to live in for 4 years straight…

7.Hand over control of the remote for a night or two.

-This task wasn’t specific enough for me, we have 3 different remotes, how am i supposed to know which one to give him? Being the bigger person I gave him the remote that turns the TV on and off. He always likes that. I’ll maintain ownership of the sound bar remote and the Apple TV remote, both of those are too small and annoying to keep track of when you want to change the station..

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8. Buy him a small gift.

-You know, thinking back to Step 2 where I bought his favorite candy bar for myself to enjoy, I thought that would be the perfect small gift for him as well!

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9. Plan a special date night, start to finish.

– You may be thinking that I just wasted a whole day leaving weird and confusing messages for my husband, but after 9 years this is just another day in the trenches for him and a ‘special’ day was had by all!

 

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Hallmark has it all wrong…

Hallmark would like to tell you that the “traditional” 4th wedding anniversary gift is flowers and the “modern” 4th wedding anniversary present is an appliance of some sort (because nothing says true love like that automatic can opener or the toaster that makes crumb removal a breeze..)..well I, Jennifer Lynne Shidler, a happily married woman celebrating her 4th wedding anniversary, can tell you they could not be farther from the truth. 

28242_624694156064_5644683_nLet me start from the beginning..

For the past week, my lovely neighbors down the street have been “spring” cleaning, which in their world means..lets take the trash from our house and dump it in the front yard for the garbage company to dispose of. The flaw in this otherwise “genius” plan is that we live in a subdivision with strict trash rules…if it does not fit in the trashcan or in the bag next to it..they wont pick it up. This of course has not phased my neighbors at all. Normally I find this overly irritating, but this time it was different. The neighbors had thrown out a sad and abused dresser. Twice a day for a week I drove past this sad dresser, each time was more depressing than the last. Now, I don’t know if it was the 4 season marathon of rehab addict on DIY network that I just watched or if I was just tired of seeing the trash on the street, but I just had to have the dresser.

imagesCA3WP8TS Nicole Curtis makes “dumpster diving” look so easy on rehab addict. I, on the other hand, lack the nerve and boldness it requires to walk right up to one mans junk and make it my treasure. On two occasions Matthew and I attempted a dresser heist. The first one failed before it really began because my tennis shoes were in the dryer and honestly, who steals trash in flip flops..the second failed attempt happened the next night…and boy did we come close. We waited until midnight, then I, in my cat pajamas and freshly washed sneakers did a “drive by.” (I promise I left my 9mm and bandana at home..). The goal of the drive by was to ensure that all neighbors between our house and target house were asleep and then to make sure there was ample space for two fluffy people such as ourselves to lift out and drag the winning piece home. After I gave the all clear signal..I sent a less than trilled Matthew over to investigate the condition of the dresser and the accessibility of the item. This is where it fell apart..afraid the item was trapped under heavier junk we threw in the towel and called it a night. 

I am sure you already know where this story is headed..today I come home from work, pull into the drive way and open the garage door to find that my husband, in broad daylight no less, worked up the nerve to finally steal the dresser for me! I asked him how he did it and the 3rd and final attempt was better than the two before it. Basically he pulled right up to it and with the neighbors watching tried to stuff the medium sized dresser in the trunk of our compact sedan. When that did not work..he attempted to shove the item in the back seat, defeated and with a small audience now watching, he drove back home parked the car then walked over to the house in question. Matt knocked on the door and proceeded to pay the little kid 2 dollars for the dresser and then carried it home!! He finished off my anniversary present with a heat gun to help me refinish, a card and a beautiful ring, you know, to avoid sleeping on the couch  just in case stealing a dresser from someone’s trash isn’t romantic enough!

Now that my friends, is true love! 🙂 

 

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