Earworm of the Week

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Hear ye, Hear ye, may I now present to you for your reading pleasure, the inaugural post of “Ear Worm of the Week.” In this new weekly segment, I will share with you the one or two songs that have been STUCK in my head. Through this process we will either bond, argue or I will help you find your next favorite hit. So, lets jump into it, shall we.

I’m The Greatest Star-Barbara Streisand from Funny Girl

It’s no secret that I love musicals and Barbara Streisand and when the two worlds combine, even better. Last week while my husband was away for work, I traded out my Gilmore Girl’s marathon for a Barbara binge instead. Funny Girl was obviously on the list, and even though I’ve seen the movie a million times, it still managed to get lodged in my head for a week. Why do I like it? A lot of Barbara’s movies focus on girls that don’t fit the typical mold but overcome the stereotypes to get what they dream of. (Funny Girl, Yentl, A Star is Born, The Mirror has Two Faces) In this song she is trying to convince theater producers that she is exactly what they are looking for. It’s catchy, funny and I think it could apply to anyone who has ever felt underated and overlooked.

Favorite line:

I’m a natural cough
(ahoo, aheh, ahay)
Some ain’t got it, not a lot
I’m a great big clump of talent
Laugh!
(ha ha ha ha)

They’ll bend in half
A thousand jokes
(Stick around for the jokes!)
A thousand faces
I reiterate

 

Come Along- Cosmo Sheldrake

I rarely watch live tv, but I am a sucker for the award season and found myself watching the Golden Globes. One of the commercials was for Apple featuring this song Come Along. I was immediately drawn to it. Now, I know I late to the party as it came out in 2017, but my XM station is glued to either The Beatles, 70’s on 7 or The Bridge, so it takes a minute for current music to reach me. Why do I like it? One of my favorite things about Wings and the Beatles is their use of orchestral accompaniment and this has it for sure. If the Beatles and the Nightmare Before Christmas soundtrack had a baby, this could be it. Ok, that might be a stretch, but it works in my imagination. Also, this song makes my toes tap and I jog faster when I listen to it on the treadmill (which is always a good thing).

Favorite Line:

Come come come come come along now,
Run away from the hum-drum,
We’ll go to a place that is safe from
greed, anger and boredom

So there we have it, the first week is in the books! What song or songs are stuck in your head this week?

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300 Writing Prompts # 12: What’s The Last Thing You Searched on The Internet?

What is the last thing you searched on the internet and why?

What better way to gauge the weirdness of a person by snooping through their search history? Lucky for you, my search history will not let you down. It took me a minute to even figure out how to locate said history, but before long I was staring down the last six things I managed to Google, most of which had to be at 3 a.m. when I was not able to sleep. Let’s get to it, shall we?

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West Wing Remake?

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My husband and I LOVE the West Wing. We usually watch it from start to finish once a year (usually when all the election non-sense begins). The show is almost 20 years old, and with the recent flux of 90’s & 2000’s shows being remade today, we have often wondered what a West Wing reboot would look like. Oddly enough, we started our annual West Wing binge on New Year’s Day and a week later an article popped up hinting at the idea that cast members and writers were in SMALL talks about a remake. I read it, was excited, but wanted further confirmation that this wasn’t all bologna, so I took to google for more concrete evidence.

How many ounces in a gallon?

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One of my 2019 goals was to drink more water, actually, only water. I can say that 14 days into 2019 the only non-water beverage I have had is 2 diet Mt. Dews. I have had no milk (wow), no juice and no Starbucks. On New Year’s I bought the biggest athletic bottle I could find (64 oz) and I needed to know how many times I had to fill it to make it to my gallon a day. The answer is 2 times because there are 128 ounces in a gallon!

Medical Alert Systems?

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As I have mentioned before, we moved my mom in with us 2 years ago while she undergoes treatments for end stage kidney failure. One of our biggest hurdles is Matt and I’s ability to get out of the house for alone time but not stressed or worried about mom being alone at the house. We found that a medical alert bracelet would help ease our mind. There are tons of options for medical alert systems and the services they provide vary, but we finally found one that checked all the boxes.

How many birds can’t fly? And is a racoon a marsupial?

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Welcome to the “I googled this at 3 a.m.” portion of our post. I honestly have NO memory of searching for these, but I am not surprised, this sounds exactly like the trivial type of stuff that would keep me up at night.

How much does the average person spend a week on groceries?

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My husband and I are working so hard to get his student loans paid off quicker than expected that we have been trying to see where can make cuts. It is no secret that buying and preparing all the groceries for a week is  more budget friendly than eating out, we just wanted to make sure we were in the right spot.

 

For better or for worse, here are my most recent internet searches. What is one of the last few things you have searched for?

The Late Show With Jennifer Shidler Presents: Top Ten Blogs of 2018..

At the beginning of the year I saw several posts from other bloggers, listing their most viewed posts of 2018. Well, I’m about 10 days late to the party, but I enjoyed reading through their lists and thought this was another way to give my new readers some insight on what you can expect to find here ( No suprise, it’s all satire). So join me as we count down my top ten and prove once again that I’m a trend follower and not a trend starter 😉

Car Shopping {ish} With Jennifer:

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We spent 2 months shopping and then 8 hours in the dealership the day of (insert eye roll here). So, in this particular post I take you along on our latest car buying experience where I outline 6 factors every person should follow when buying a car. None of which my husband found slightly relevant.

A Christmas Poem:

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Honestly this is one of my favorite things I’ve written, and even though it was written with only 7 days left in 2018, it still made it to #2. I thought it would be cute to bake my first pie from scratch the day before Christmas, and well…it didn’t end the way I thought it would. I expressed my anger artfully and wrote a poem to the rhythm of “The Night Before Christmas.” I had way more fun writing the poem then baking or eating the pie.

Halloween Costumes for the Practical Adult:

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Fueled by my hatred of what adult’s wear as Halloween costumes these days…aka anything with the word “sexy” in front of it, I outlined 4 Halloween categories that I felt were truly unrepresented and should honestly frighten any adult.

Quiz Me Friday: Spelling Edition:

Spelling Edition

This blog post was actually a video, and whether you’ve just started following me, or have been here since 2012, you will know that I am terrible at spelling. We thought it would be fun for my husband to give me a basic, and I mean basic, spelling test. It was humiliating but fun!

I’m Offically a Texan Y’all:

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This post is me losing my mind after the verified HEB (a popular Texas grocery store chain for you non-Texans) Facebook and Instagram account commented on a post I made about them. This post is an exaggerated announcement that the grocery store chain and I are now best friends for ever and by doing so, cementing my status as a true Texan and not a Hoosier (an Indiana term 😉 )

Pet Grooming {ish} With Jennifer:

IMG_2318Oh! Another one of my favorites to write, not one of my favorites to experience however! If you have curious cats and use wax warmers in your house, you will want to read this one, so you know what to do in the event your cat tries to give himself a spa treatment. Fur and wax do NOT go together.

Cinema {ish} With Jennifer Toy Story:

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In this post I dissected the American Film Institute’s #99 movie Toy Story, but since we have all seen this million at least a dozen times, I used this  time to write a brief case study on Sid from Toy Story. Active imagination or pre-teen psychopath in training? I encourage you to read this and re-watch toy story with an open mind and decide for yourself.

Getting Old {ish} With Jennifer:

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After I turned 30 last year I still felt like I wasn’t considered an adult, so I thought if I applied for the job of adult and submitted a resume then maybe I would be hired. Still waiting for the acceptance letter, but the resume is still up for your approval or disapproval!

My Quarter Life Crisis Bucket List:

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To piggy back off of the previous post, for my 31st birthday I was still not feeling too much like an adult, so I made a small bucket lists of things I want to accomplish before my 32nd birthday. If you are new to my blog you may already be familiar with this theme as I have posted an update to how my list is coming along.

The Ants Go Marching 1 by 1, Hurrah! Hurrah!

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Another one of my favorites. This spring (like every spring) we found ourselves with a bit of an ant problem. I took my annoyance to a satirical approach (like usual) and decided to turn my kitchen sink into a vacation destination for the ant community. I made a flyer and advertised like this was a Sandals resort in Jamaica.

So there you are, the top ten posts I wrote in 2018 as voted by WordPress views. I had alot of fun writing them, hopefully you have/had fun reading them!

 

300 Writing Prompts # 1: Best Way To Spend A Lazy Day

What is your favorite way to spend a lazy day?

The simple answer to this is, at home and in my pajamas with my cats and dogs. The full answer is much more complex and is comprised of the following components:

  • Surroundings
  • Attire
  • Nutrition
  • Entertainment

The surroundings are very important, and it goes way deeper than just being at home with my pets. Also, this almost always requires two days off in a row. I must sacrifice the first lazy day to the productivity Gods. This is so that I can prepare every inch of my house for the second day of pure and utter laziness. I will strip the bed, wash every piece of laundry, do all the dishes, heck, I’ll even clean out my nightstand. I do all this prep work so that when midnight hits of the actual “lazy day” I can relax unbothered and remain unmotivated by my surroundings.

The attire is also carefully planned out. The amateur lazy person would say that what you wear depends on the weather outside, but they are WRONG. I’m no amateur. I want to be lazy and cozy, even if its 105 outside. The simple solution is to crank the air to 62* and find my favorite hoody, sweat pants and blankets.

Nutrition is key on a lazy day as it is important to keep your strength up. My menu varies depending on what we have on hand and what I feel like, but the usual suspects are frosted flakes, mashed potatoes, egg salad sandwiches, ramen, ginger ale and milk. Not all at the same time of course…although I always say I’ll try anything once!

Entertainment is the final category that fuels the motivation for a lazy day. More often than not it’s the TV series I’ve just gotten hooked on or the book that I can’t seem to put down that motivates (or un-motivates rather) me for a lazy day.

So tell me, what is your favorite way to spend a lazy day?

 

A Christmas Poem…

The following poem is based on semi true events….

One day I’ll share the full story of what happened that fateful night, but only when my therapist gives me the ok. 

T’was the night before Christmas and all through the house, flour was everywhere, mostly down my blouse.

The pie crust was flung over the pan without care in hopes that salmonella would not be there.

The puppies had burrowed down deep in the chair, burying their noses from what smelled like burnt hair

And Matthew with the fire extinguisher and I with the water, while mom’s in the corner screaming “Why even bother!!”

When out of the alarm there arose annoying chatter, I hit it with the broom to shut it up faster

Away to the oven we flew like a flash, tore open the garbage pail, because this pies now trash

The smoke in the kitchen had begun to grow, just the cherry on top of this Christmas sh*t show

When, what to my watery eyes should I see, a pristine frozen pie baked by Sara Lee

With the oven still on I knew pretty quick, I could salvage this Christmas like a pig with lipstick

The pie was in one piece, who cares it’s not cherry, “just don’t burn it this time, this is our last Hail Mary”

The timer was set, I wound it myself, “if they want a fresh pie next year they can bake it their self.”

As the buzzer went off no one batted an eye, hope Santa doesn’t mind the taste of mincemeat pie.

Sitting In The Stands of The Sports Arena…

I know Christmas is the season for kindness and giving, but this blog post idea has been stolen from The Confusing Middle.  I have come to terms with my thievery and I hope you will too when you see how fun and pleasantly distracting the content is 🙂

Oh, and don’t worry, I asked Santa for creativity and originality for Christmas, lets see if the big guy delivers!

Today we are going to play a fun game, and I hope you will play along below in the comments and on your blog as well! Lets begin shall we!

  • Put your music player on random.
  • Post the first line (or so, some are hard) from the first 20 songs that play, no matter how embarrassing the song.
  • Post and let everyone you know guess what SONG AND ARTIST the lines come from.
  • Italicize the songs when someone guesses correctly (No lyric hunting! That’s cheating! We are on the honor system here!)
  • After doing the first 20, listen to one more random song and post it as your title.
  1.  It’s our party we can do what we want, It’s our party we can say what we want
  2. Gotta leave town, got another appointment, spent all my rent girl you know I enjoyed it
  3. Everybody groove to the music, every body jam
  4. And the rain beats on my roof, and it does not ask for proof
  5. I’m fixing a hole where the rain gets in and stops my mind from wandering
  6. I can feel it, coming in the air tonight, oh lord
  7. Feelings, inside of my head I don’t know, but I’m thinking about you
  8. Dog goes woof, cat goes meow, bird goes tweet and mouse goes squeak
  9. Someone please save us,us college kids! what my parents told me
    is what I did.
  10. I want to break free, I want to break free,,
  11. People say im the life of the party cause i tell a joke or two.
  12. Stop! In the name of love..
  13. I once had a girl, or should I say, She once had me
  14. I’m full, of regret for all the things that I have done and said
  15. Never gave you nothin’ People couldn’t explain away Never gave you nothin’ Without something to gain
  16. The trouble with schools is, they always try to teach the wrong lesson
  17. Well, im a runnin down the road tryin to loosen my load
  18. Dont think about it, just move your body listen to the music
  19. I’ve been around the world, had my pick of any girl, you’d think I’d be happy but im not
  20. Rows and flows of angel Hair and ice cream castles in the air

 

So there you are, 20 shuffled songs for your guessing pleasure! If you fill this out, let me know, I love a challenge!

Butterfly in The Sky, I Can Fly Twice as High..

“Take a Look, It’s in a book, a Reading Rainbow..”

Dear Olivia

Boy do you owe me 😂 I’ve always loved to read, but then Netflix and college came along and kidnapped my imagination and replaced it with reruns of the Office and Scrubs. #eaaaaagle #thatswhatshesaid

Then, you posted about your book and I was excited! I read and loved it (I know I’ve told you that much before). I couldn’t put it down. It was easier to fight my squirrel like tendency’s when I didn’t have to work as hard to paint the picture of the story in my head (not that it would have been that hard, if anything it was amazing how accurate and detailed your writing was).

Ive driven through Judson, shopped at IGA and briefly (and terribly I might add) worked at TR Inn.

When I finished the last page I found myself in denial. I didn’t want the story to end and to be honest I had begun to miss the “me time” that I set aside to read it. So in an attempt to fill the void you left I started to read the books I’ve bought over the years with the intent to read but hadn’t (because binge watching the office & Gilmore girls for the 80th time is a better use of my time, right?…wrong).

It’s been a little over a month since I finished your book & and in that time I’ve bought (thank goodness for used book stores) and read 18 books (and I have it on good authority that Santa is bringing me more).

I’ve also become slightly dependent on Starbucks, which is only indirectly your fault. You see, there’s something about meandering down book aisles with a cozy drink that seems perfect. (Even in Texas where it’s summer 80% of the time)

So, what I guess I’m trying to say is, Thank you for paying Netflix’s ransom and bringing my imagination back.

P.s. Where do I send my bill? These books and coffees are killing my bank account. 😂

If you want to read the book in question, Land Of The Jonah Fish Fry, you can find it here on Amazon! You won’t be disappointed!