Non-Writer/Writers Block

Several people have asked where I have been hiding this past few months. No blogs, no videos, I have vanished once again into thin air without explanation. I do have a reason, a shotty one to be honest. A perfect trifecta of incidents has combined to cause my absence. One-part travel, one-part motivation (or lack there-of) and one-part writers block. Well, non-writer-writers block. I am not completely convinced that jotting down every weird thought or scenario that comes into my head makes me “writer” just yet.

To be truthful, my truancy hadn’t bothered me much until my sister in law, Tifany, grilled me about my poor writing attendance in the middle of Barnes and Noble on a cold and rainy Thursday afternoon. I made a vague excuse about not having time and that I was just waiting for life to return to normal. I was partly hopeful but partly lying. To be honest, I am not sure what normal in my life looks like right now. If you assembled normal and other seasons of life in a line up, I would not be able to positively ID it.

My sister in law didn’t buy my excuse and well, neither did I. When they left to go back home to Indiana a few days later, she insisted that I write something soon or she would ground me.

Since no one at the age of 30 should be grounded, I decided to take action. With my travels for the year over (unless any of you readers want to send me on a cruise) and my new-found motivation pushing me forward, I have no other excuses than to tackle that pesky “writers block” excuse once and for all. #letsdothis

Here we are. Day 3 staring at this screen with nothing. I just keep glaring at this blinking curser. I wouldn’t say it’s mocking me just yet, but there have been a few times where I swear it just disappears to check and see if I’m still paying attention. I am, but barely. I have started, stopped and erased at least 4 different blog posts in the last 3 days. Is it still considered non-writers-writers block when 90% of the words you type are grammatically incorrect anyways? My theory has always been, you can make up for poor grammar as long as you make the reader laugh. It’s not like they will have time to whip out their red ink pen and fill up the margins with corrections if they are too busy wiping their tears and catching their breath from laughter, right?  Right!

So, what should I do when I don’t have a funny commentary to offer but still have a writing itch to scratch and a wonderful sister in law to appease? I guess just write something and hope you, the reader, see past the imperfections and stick around. I have nothing to bribe you with other than the promise that one day the funny will return and we will all once again rejoice as we “roll on the floor laughing” or whatever phrase the cool kids are using these days.

So that’s the plan. We are going to take this one day at a time. Some days will be funnier than others and some will be more grammatically coherent than others. The important thing is we will get through this together, mmkay!

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Saying Goodbye {ish} To an Old Friend….

NOLANVILLE- It is with great sadness that I must announce the untimely passing of my 2nd favorite pair of black strappy sandals, Sandy. They were also known as: “you know, the black and tan ones” to friends and family. They passed over to the big shoe box in the sky on August 31, 2018. They were only a year old.

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Born in April 2014 in China to parents Kali Footwear and Amazon Inc., Sandy was later adopted by on May 9, 2017, by Jennifer Shidler an avid online shopper and flip flop enthusiast. She survives.  Screen Shot 2018-09-01 at 11.32.59 PM

Sandy lived a modest life in Texas where she would spend her free time under the couch, under the coffee table or under towels in the bathroom. She did not work (something about flip flops not allowed in the work place) but loved to travel and enjoyed going through TSA checkpoints with ease. Her recent and most memorable trips include Florida, Chicago, Colorado and San Francisco.

 

Outside of traveling, Sandy enjoyed short walks on the hot Texas pavement, hiding from her dogs, Wrigley and Lucy, and accompanying Jennifer to her pedicures.

Sandy had no children of her own but cherished the friendship she had with Jennifer and knew her ‘sole’ purpose was to protect and shield her. Sandy once walked over broken glass for Jennifer, another time bravely taking an exacto knife to the head.

 

Sandy had an identical twin, Mandy, and while they didn’t always see eye to eye or toe to toe to, Mandy always encouraged Sandy to keep one foot ahead of the other. Mandy stayed by Sandy’s side to the very end but passed shortly after Sandy, realizing her purpose in life was no more.

Sandy was preceded in death by a pair of silver strapy sandals, a pair of white Nike’s and the left half of Jennifer’s favorite cat slippers.

A celebration of live will be held Monday September 3rd. Family and friends are encouraged to attend and share stories, poems and memories of their time with Sandy. Cremation was originally chosen but do to current burn ban restrictions in Texas, a traditional shoe box burial will be carried out instead with arrangements entrusted to Hefty and Sons.

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The Shidler’s ask that in leu of flowers, memorial donations be made in the form of Amazon gift cards, so more flip flops can be purchased in Sandy’s memory.

 

 

Hoarding {ish} With Jennifer

This week on “Hoarding: Buried Alive” we follow Jennifer, a 30-year old office supply hoarder from Central Texas who is in over her head in ink and pencil shavings….

Ok, so, my hoard doesn’t require 10 dump trucks, an organizational specialist and a therapist (although, I’m not counting this one out just yet lol…), but it is a bit aggressive for someone who graduated from college 8 years ago and barely takes notes or writes by hand anymore. (Hey Apple notes, how you doin’?)

So how did this great gathering all start? Well, you see I tend to have anxiety and panic attacks (yep, newsflash, I’m far from perfect) and instead of dealing with those feelings in a normal or at least productive way, I decided to go from room to room, drawer to drawer on a mad woman search for every pen, marker and pencil that I could find.

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You see, earlier that day I stopped at the store to get school supplies for a local donation box, and like the junkie I am, couldn’t resist from procuring a few extra supplies for my own stash. Nothing too “hard”, just some pens, pencils, a fresh box of crayons (swoon) a journal and an electric pencil sharpener.

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You can smell this picture, can’t you!

I thought my personal ‘back to school haul’ would ease the anxious feelings that were creeping up. Nope. In fact, when I sat at my desk ready to unbox and introduce my new beauties, I realized that I had made a silly impulse purchase that wasn’t going to make me feel any better.  This crummy feeling only multiplied when I remembered  that I had plenty of pens in the drawer inches from my hand. Those pens, just like Andy’s toys in Toy Story, sit there hopping that the next time I go to grab a writing instrument that they would be the “chosen” one.

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From there it escalated. In an attempt to establish some sort of “reasoning” (AKA denial) I decided that I would replace the “bad” pens with the 12 new ones. I grabbed a note pad and a stack of pens and began the test. It became obvious, that I had taken exceptionally good care of my pens and finding 12 misfits was going to be hard.

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Cut to an hour later, my house looked like it had been the target of FBI raid. Every drawer was open and rummaged through and contents of purses and bags were turned inside-out and emptied on the island in pursuit for errant office supplies. No nook or cranny was safe.

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Paid Re-enactment

When all was said and done I had rounded up quite the bounty.

9 legal pads (why legal?)

3 spiral notebooks

2 journal style notebooks

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140 {ish} pens, pencils, markers and highlighters

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Now, again, this particular hoard is not a ‘bring in the dump trucks’ type of situation, but when you take in to account that I do almost everything digitally and can only write with 1 hand…it is still a bit much. Especially since I have a bad habit of impulse purchases.

I decided it was time to let go, so I made an A team (those supplies worthy to sit at my desk) a B Team (those good enough to stay for use around the house) and the cut list. Those supplies still have a lot of life, but will find renewed existence in a new home.

A medium-sized box was quickly filled and placed curb side and with the help of a post on our neighborhoods Facebook page, the box was on to its new home within 15 minutes!

What is your shopping & hoarding weakness? Let me know in the comments below, maybe we can start a support group!

 

 

Quiz Me Friday: Basic Knowledge Edition

Hey Guys! It is Friday which means the weekend is upon us! Also upon us, is another “cliff notes” video for your non-reading pleasure!

Today, my husband quizzes me on basic knowledge ranging from music, history, science and brace yourselves, MATH. (and you thought my spelling was bad…)

Disclaimer: Not for the educationally squeamish or faint of heart..

Enjoy!

 

 

Getting Old {ish} With Jennifer

A few weeks ago we explored the possibilities of whether I, Jennifer, of 30 year old sound{ish} body and mind, am in fact an adult, or instead an adult in training (read that post here). I decided that half of the issue may be that I’ve never really “applied and interviewed” for the position of adulthood. Being married and having a mortgage just isnt enough.

So to whom it may concern, might I present to you my Resume to Be an Adult for your review and acceptance.