Just a Quick Thought

I was working on Wednesdays blog post and came across a small promblem…I couldnt spell purpose right to save my life. One of these days I will spell ‘Purpose’ right on the first try instead of ‘Porpoises’…..until that day comes, if you are reading something I have written, just assume I’m talking about something that is intentional and not a small aquatic mammal… unless I write a blog about whales on porpoise (see what I did there..). If I do write that blog, just reguard this message! 😉

 

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While The Husband is Away, The Wife Will Play….

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My husband is gone for work for the week, and these are 10 things I will be doing in his absence. He may or may not be excited he isn’t here to join me.

  • 3 words: Gilmore Girls Marathon
  • Cheesy Romance novels and puppy snuggles
  • The house temperature will be 70, then 75, then 70 then 75 again….in one hour
  • I will Sleep in the middle of the bed with all my pillows
  • Text him every half hour asking him what he’s up to
  • Homemade Zoodle Shrimp Alfredo all to myself
  • Oil changed on the car…wait…this doesn’t sound like an advantage.
  • Give my doggo’s too many treats and lots of kisses
  • Bubble baths and while playing the best of Cher and Abba
  • The following movies will be on repeat
    • You’ve Got Mail
    • Sound of Music
    • The Mirror has Two Faces
    • Beaches
    • The Bridges of Madison County
    • Pretty Woman
    • Sleepless in Seattle

Because in most things in life there is balance, these are the 10 things I will miss with his absence. Again, he may or may not be excited he isn’t here to join me

  • I will miss telling him to roll over every time he snores in my general direction
  • I will miss reading him these blogs before I post them for a laugh test
  • I will miss the smell of his body wash wafting into the room at 5 a.m. after his morning shower
  • I will miss him showing me a million things on Facebook, even though I’ve already seen them lol
  • I will miss him talking to me about his flights that day even though I don’t understand
  • I will miss the way he makes pumping gas look so effortless ;).
  • I will miss him ‘yelling’ at me for sorting the dirty clothes wrong
  • I will miss him ‘yelling’ at me for loading the dishwasher wrong (confession, I’m a terrible housewife)
  • I will miss seeing how excited the dogs get after he walks through the door after he has been at work all day
  • I will miss the way he talks to our puppies early in the morning when he gently wakes them up to take them outside for potty time.

This post started as a silly weekday ramble, but the more I wrote the more I was reminded of two things…

  1. How much of the little and big things that I love about my sweet husband.
  2. So many people I know are missing their spouses for more serious reasons such as military deployment or death. This makes my complaints of a five-day separation sound trivial and minuscule.

Hug your loved ones and don’t take the little things for granted 🙂

300 Writing Prompts #7: What’s A Food You Hate That Others Love?

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I have a strong feeling this post is going to cause a lot of my readers grief, but the truth must come out. I strongly dislike BACON. Actually, if I am being honest with myself, the only items from a pig that I eat willingly are hard salami and pepperoni. It’s not that I’ve taken some great vow for pig rights (no offense to those who have) but I don’t like the taste. Don’t get me wrong, I will eat it if offered to me or if my only option, but in all honesty, bacon leaves a taste on my tongue that I instantly feel like I need scrape off my with my teeth or with a butter knife (do not use a knife in public unless you want to look like cousin Eddy..).

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How do my I know my readers are going to textually assault me on this? Because I’ve already received quite the beating on Facebook. If you have any type of social media you have no doubt seen the posts that say, “one must go.” This is the post I shared, and all hell broke loose on my Facebook feed. 20 different people commented with words and GIFS conveying their varying degrees of disapproval.

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The good news for me is the whole comment section didn’t exactly gang up against my choice. The most common “go” item was sushi, but five brave souls said they could toss aside the donut and 1 sad soul said he could live a life without tacos (you are in my prayers lol ). He is married to my best friend, so I must forgive him of this sin, but it will be hard.

 

So, tell me readers, what food would you toss aside that most others love?

Football From The Eyes of an MLB Fan

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“As for me and my house, we serve the Lord and the Chicago Cubs….”

This past weekend on a whim, my husband and I decided to go to the NFL wild card game between the Houston Texans and the Indianapolis Colts. My football appreciation starts and ends with Super bowl Sunday. I’m there for the food, commercials and half time show. Because I am not a diehard Texan or Colt fan (even though I grew up in Indiana) I went to this game with no expectations other than a fun afternoon and a good fight between rivals. While we had a blast (we really did) I left the game with a lot of observations and a few questions for the NFL and Texan fans.

Observations:

  • Football spectators are way louder and more alert than baseball fans.

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  • The Texan announcer excitedly requested that the fans SHOUT out the last name of the starting lineup, citing it as tradition. If I knew there was going to be a quiz, I would have studied. (probably not)

 

  • If you are going to cheer for the visiting team, do so at your risk. Football fans tend to be built like the football players they cheer on. Say the wrong thing and a tackle could be in your future.

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  • It is harder for a novice to follow football in person than on TV. The yellow line of scrimmage (had to google what it was called) does not actually show up on the field. You have to find the guys on the sidelines with the sticks and connect the dots yourself. When I finally find out whats going on, I’m the only one cheering.

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  • Speaking of ‘harder to follow in person’, the flags on the field make a lot less sense if the TV commentators aren’t force feeding me the facts. I was left to my own devices to decide what the heck a “neutral zone infraction” was. Heads up, it’s not passing gas in the middle of a huddle. Although I imagine some deserve a 5-yard penalty for that.

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  • 15 minutes in life and 15 minutes at a football game are not the same. That being said, I grossly misjudged the length of time my bladder is able to hold liquids safely. Towards the start of the 4th quarter, I quickly realized I needed to use the restroom. “Only 15 minutes left, I can do this…” 45 minutes later I am begging my row to stand and let me out in the middle of a tense play.

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  • In relation to the above observation, don’t drink copious amounts of water unless your seat to aisle access ratio is less than 3. You haven’t lived until you’ve straddled 6 adults and 1 child while trying to get out of a crowded row doing the “I have to pee” dance.

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Questions:

Where did this guy buy his ticket, because I didn’t see the option for section 615 row M seat 16 with optional spa and facial package.

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What bet did this bride lose to not only have to go to a football game minutes after saying “I do” but to do so in the nosebleed section. Also, pretty sure they could have saved money with a caterer at the reception vs. the concession stand.

What is this guy’s game day routine look like? “I need to go to bed early tonight honey, I want to get up early and do my hair for the game in the morning.”

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Do the Cheerleaders ever fight over where they stand during the game. They divide them between the four corners of the field. You can’t tell me Suzy isn’t upset that her BFF Jill is on the opposite side with her enemy Jolene, and don’t get me started on Karen pretending to best buds with Macey.

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Are you still considered a band wagon fan when the closest thing to representing team gear is wearing a hoodie that says Indiana on it?

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 All jokes aside, congratulations to the Indianapolis Colts! We had a blast at this game which is surprising because I walk a fine line between introvert and high functioning agoraphobic. Ha. Tell me friends, what sporting events do you enjoy in person?

300 Writing Prompts # 6: Write a Thank You Note To Someone

Dear Shower in Room 1319 Crown Plaza Hotel, Houston:

You may not remember me, but I’m the woman you heard screaming yesterday morning. Hi! I wanted to send you a word of thanks for the most violent shower experience of my life. Never in my 31 years of bathing have I gone from 3rd degree burns to frostbite in a matter of minutes. You really kept me on my toes, which is good, because they were the only body part left un-effected by your ‘Psycho’ Alfred Hitchcock thrill ride. Who knew the most effective way to clean your body was to sear the top layer off to make room for the new layer.

I was worried the memories of our weekend together would quickly fade away, but those fears were soon replaced by the constant smell of fried bologna on my skin that seemed to follow me where ever I went. That small reminder will have to do until our paths can cross again.

You truly went above and beyond, and I thank you for your service!

Sincerely,

Jennifer Shidler

 

Tell me readers, who would you write a thank you note to this week?

Extra credit: whats your worst hotel experience in recent memory?

to my love & light,

300 Writing Prompts # 4: Write a Quick Love Story That Ends Badly

1 hour and 27 minutes. That is all that separated Abigale from pure bliss. Her shift at the bank had been maddening which only increased her desire to get home. While it wasn’t a busy day per say, keeping her mind on basic tasks had proved more than problematic. She would greet the guests as they would come into the bank and she engaged in small talk with her co-workers, but her thoughts were 100% dedicated to the events of last night.

She still couldn’t believe it. Their meeting had been completely un-planned and at a gas station of all places! Who meets the one you’ve been searching for at a gas station?  The supermarket yes, the Valero down by the bus stop, not so much. It had been years since she had felt like this. Sure, there had been others, but none as sweet, cool and charming as this. When she arranged for a second meeting tonight, she wondered what others would think. She decided she didn’t care. She was an adult and old enough to defend her actions, besides who was going to find out.

Thankfully Abigale was scheduled to be on the monthly budget call the last hour of her shift. Her forced participation was bound to not only get everything off her mind but make the time go by quicker.

With five minutes left in the conference call and her speaking part already done , she began shutting down her computer and packing up her desk for the weekend. The minute the conference was over she planned to be out that door and in her car. No time for idle chit chat on how “it was finally the weekend, or we survived another week.” She had big plans and wanted them to start as soon as possible.

She raced home. Weaving in and out of the three-lane highway leaving those driving at or below the speed limit safely behind her. She caught herself blushing as she replayed last night events in her head. Could this be what she had been looking for her whole life? Suddenly her craving and desire reached an all-time high. Their dinner would have to wait until later. This needed to come first.

She pulled into the drive and instantly the excitement and anticipation drained from her body. Her Husband was home. “How could this be” Abigale whispered to herself. “He said he wouldn’t be back from Omaha until Sunday night.”

Realizing her plans were ruined, Abigale sat in the car for two minutes thinking how she was going to explain the evidence of what happened last night to her husband. She betrayed him.

Slowly and quietly she walked up to the door and opened it. Just as she had suspected, he was in the kitchen, spoon in one hand and the container of the special edition Blue Bell Rocky Road ice cream that she had been pinning for all day, in the other.

“Where did you find this?” He asked excitedly with his mouth half full of the sweet chocolate ice cream. “I thought the news said every store was sold out?”

“The Valero down the street by the bus stop” Abigale replied, trying to mask her hunger and disappointment. “The clerk said it was the last carton, and I was lucky to get it.”

“Well, it sure was delicious” her husband said as he tossed the now empty container in the trash as if it meant nothing to him. “Aren’t you surprised to see me, you seem disappointed? He said coming towards her, arms out for a hug.

“Definitely surprised” Ann said, more convincingly. “I just had a lot on my mind at work today, I’ll be better after I eat.”

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300 Writing Prompts # 3: What Would You Buy Even If The Price Doubled?

Write about something you would still buy if it cost twice as much as it costs today.

There is something I’ve been hiding from my readers and some of my family and friends for a while now and this is just the question to finally bring everything out into the open. No more secrets, no more hiding.

I have an addiction. In the beginning it was under control. Everything was in moderation. I couldn’t go out and buy it myself, so I had to rely on others. I would wait until my mom went to bed and take a little off the top. Same thing at my friends houses. It was a careful and controlled addiction. But as soon as I got my first job, my own car, the whole thing just blew out of control. Soon I was on the hunt 2 or 3 times a week. In between classes, on my break at work. Tony, the guy down the street at the gas station would help me out sometimes too. He knew I didn’t need fuel and would let me know when fresh stuff would drop so I could get my pick before the others got their hands all over it. Sure it would cost me double, but it was close by and would work in a pinch. 1%, 2%, whole, it doesn’t matter. When I need a fix, that’s all I can think about.  I’ll drink whatever I can get my hands on (except skim…I’ve not hit rock bottom yet).

My name is Jennifer, and I’m addicted to milk. (Hi Jennifer).

In all seriousness I would pay double, even triple for this white gold, this nectar of the Gods. They say the best way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, mine is through the cows utter. Ok, too far. Just take my word for it, I love milk.  I’m so deep in this dairy dilemma that I can’t even tell you how much a gallon of milk is. I NEVER look at the price. I check the date and the color of the cap, put in my cart and run to the check out as fast as possible. It’s that serious.

So, I dare you to raise the price. I’ll still be here with my super strong bones and special milk cup and straw.

What is something you would pay twice as much for?

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