The following are real time reactions from my first viewing of Ben-Hur (1959) Read the rest of my review here.
Starts with an Overture. Great. There is a reason why movies play credits at the end of movies now. An overture is just another way of saying “are you sure you really want to do this?”
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, THE SCROLL BAR SAYS THIS MOVIE IS OVER 3 ½ HOURS LONG.
Ok, I think this might be a biblical film, pretty sure they are referencing the birth of Jesus. How ironic, I’m 10 minutes into this film and I feel like I’m going to need a spiritual intervention myself, to get through this film.
Oh, yep. This is a biblical film the wise Men just showed up. They are older than I imagined.
They depicted the manger much bigger than I have imagined for 30 years. I’ve always pictured a simple shed, but this appears to be at least 1000 square feet. I believe I may have seen it on an episode of House Hunters International.
Sigh. We already had an 8-minute overture, followed by 2 mins of movie, to be followed by music and credits. Now I know why this movie is 3 ½ hours long.
This movie should come with a warning, not recommended for those who suffer from ADHD.
I’m just going to assume I don’t know enough about history to be able to meaningfully follow along with this movie.
Ben-Hur is a prince! Not a slave! I was wrong!
I just blanked out for a whole scene of dialog, again. We are barely 20 mins in.
I am so lost. I have turned the closed captioning on in hopes I can follow along better. So far, this seems to be working.
Oh, this is going to be one of those movies where the whole thing could have been avoided if one simple detail could have been attended to. (example, if Kevin would have just opened the door for the police in Home Alone). In this case it is whoever they hired to tile the roof should have been fired. If the roof tile had stayed in place I feel like everything could have been avoided.
“Next week on Snapped, Roman leader allows his friend to be arrested for a faulty roof tile. Tile man beheaded.”
You know earlier when I said I was wrong, he is a prince not a slave. It appears his luck is changing…for the worse.
Is that Jesus giving him water!! Oh, I hope so!! It is!!! It is Jesus!! Back off you roman soldier. Jesus is here!!!
Now we are on a boat. Where did the boat come from? Still lost.
This rowing activity looks like quite the work out, where can I get in on an exercise program like this?
He saved his “boss” and in return his boss keeping him out of the galley! Things are looking up!
Aww! This movie has taken quite a turn! Again, confused on the time line between events, but now his “boss” has adopted Ben Hur as his son! (slightly weird as he is a grown adult but sweet) please tell me Hur uses his new lease on life to find the “friend” who betrayed him before.
Oh great, “dad” is friends with Pontius Pilate …if only Ben Hur could karate chop him right there and then.
Does Ben-Hur not remember his past? Or is Balthasar looking for Jesus? The name Balthasar sounds familiar.
After a quick google search, Balthasar was one of the 3 wise men. So, chances are he was in fact searching for Jesus and not Hur, but found some qualities of Jesus in Hur making him seem familiar.
Big girls boys don’t cry, they get even…with chariot races.
Oh! We have come full circle. He is back home where the tile fell on the governor. I wonder if they ever got the roof fixed.
Just asked Matthew to check how much time is left on the movie. Still 1 hour and 42 minutes. I don’t drink, but I am considering it.
He just said it’s been four years since his mother and sister were locked up. That’s it? 4 years? They make it seem like it’s been 10 to 20 years at least.
Hur has said Messala enough times that I’m officially craving stuffed chicken marsala from Olive Garden.
I really hope Ben-Hur doesn’t come all this way just to die in the end against Messala in the chariot race. I have a remote and I will throw it.
They have found his mother and his sister, but they are found to be suffering from leprosy. I know leprosy is bad, but I really don’t know what It is, and I’m afraid to google it since google likes to offer pictures without me even asking for it.
First there was an overture, then “some” movie, followed by credits, followed by A LOT of movie, and now there is an intermission. There’s 20 mins of my life I will never get back.
Finally, we made it to the chariot races. Again, I stress, how did they film this in 1959, it’s not like they had CGI. Surely there is a documentary on this somewhere.
Oh, bad guy has spikes on his hub caps like the jerk from Grease. Didn’t help the jerk from Grease, hopefully it won’t help this guy.
As I typed that, the bad guy just got destroyed by horses. What a way to die. he deserved it.
Messala is beaten and battered but won’t let the doctors tend to him until he can speak with Hur. Please tell me it’s because he wants to apologize.
Nope. That’s a hard no. He is still taunting Hur, not apologizing. Further proving that men can be stubborn children sometimes.
Now he is back in the leprosy colony. Is leprosy like chicken pox or the black plague? I’m giving in and googeling it now. Please be kind to google images.
Interesting. Wikipedia has informed me that leprosy isn’t not as “bad’ as it was believed to be (I mean its not good either) but is treatable today with a combination of antibiotics.
Yay, Jesus is back! People are gathering to hear him speak! Could this be the sermon on the mount? Yes, I think it is! GO Jesus Go!
Hur just challenged Pontius Pilate. Please don’t let this back fire. Although I feel like I already know where this is going.
Sigh. We’ve arrived at the trials of Jesus by Pontius Pilate . I had a hard time watching the Passion of the Christ when it came out, and while this is far less graphic, it is still no easier to watch.
Wow. I had this movie all wrong. A simple reminder of how powerful God’s Grace is and how precious his promise is.