Becoming The Best Wife Ever On Our 9th Wedding Anniversary

Today is my 9th wedding anniversary and in an effort to keep my marriage fun and exciting I took to the ‘inter webs’ to search for advice on being the best wife possible. The internet did not disappoint and I found a blog that posted 40 great tips to be such a wife.

Seeing that I put this task off until 2 days before our anniversary, I will not be able to complete all 40 steps, although, I feel pretty secure in my wifely ranking that I don’t need to do all 40 steps to push me over the top, just saying. 

With that said, I have selected 9 Steps to share with my husband, so, join me as I spend the whole day annoying and alienating my Husband on our 9th Anniversary. #Truelove

1.Frame a nice family picture for him for his bedside table, desk, or cruiser. Bonus points for a nice note on the back.

This seemed easy enough! I grabbed a cute frame and after a quick google search for “nice family picture” and a click of the ‘print’ button, step one was completed! It really is a darling picture, isn’t it? I named them the Howard family. Brad, (an investment banker) Julia (Once a lawyer, now a travel blogger) and little Ryan and Georgia.

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Oh..and just know I couldn’t forget about the ‘bonus points’! I find the ‘Eighth note’ to be one of the nicest notes, don’t you?

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2.Buy his favorite candy bar when you go grocery shopping.

-Wow! Another easy one, although it seems like a waste. We have separate taste in candy bars and cookies ’n’ cream is far from my favorite but maybe this step is designed to make us see our spouses point of view. Oh well, I never say no to chocolate!

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3.Leave a note (or several) for him to find randomly.

-This one is a little more time consuming, but important in any relationship and I know just what I’m going to tell him. We’ve been on a Cheers kick lately, so in true Cliff Clavin style, I left 20 ‘important but mostly unknown facts’ around the house (read them all for yourself here). 

He already knows I love him but did he know that cats can’t taste sweet food because of a genetic issue? Nope, didn’t think so. Knowledge is power and love.

4.Help your kids make him something.

-We don’t have any kids, but we do have 2 minimally creative dogs and one cat who thinks throwing litter around a room is an art form, what is the worst that could happen?

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Turns out, the ‘worst’ that could happen is 3 dirty, pissed off pets and paint everywhere. EVERY. WHERE. Of all the questions asked of me today the one, “But why did you choose RED paint?” will be the one that resinates the most. It looks like I slaughtered all of Santas reindeer as they then struggled for their life on my patio…

5.Tell him one reason you love him (or randomly text it to him.)

-Just one?! Thats amature hour. I say lets kick this affection up a notch and bombard his inbox with nothing but sweet and touching reasons why he is my forever.

6.Get dolled up just for him, like you did when you were dating.

-Again, this one seems a bit off, but I’ll try to recreate the magic. We started dating in college, so it may take me a minute to dig out my ISU hoodies and sweat pants that I seemed to live in for 4 years straight…

7.Hand over control of the remote for a night or two.

-This task wasn’t specific enough for me, we have 3 different remotes, how am i supposed to know which one to give him? Being the bigger person I gave him the remote that turns the TV on and off. He always likes that. I’ll maintain ownership of the sound bar remote and the Apple TV remote, both of those are too small and annoying to keep track of when you want to change the station..

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8. Buy him a small gift.

-You know, thinking back to Step 2 where I bought his favorite candy bar for myself to enjoy, I thought that would be the perfect small gift for him as well!

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9. Plan a special date night, start to finish.

– You may be thinking that I just wasted a whole day leaving weird and confusing messages for my husband, but after 9 years this is just another day in the trenches for him and a ‘special’ day was had by all!

 

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The Piggy That Went To Market…..

……And Never Came Home

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What do you get for the person who has everything? A gift card? Flowers? Fruit of the month membership?

How about for the person who has just casually lost a toe at home like it was no big deal (Yep..I said toe..no awkward auto correct here). A get well card? New socks?

I mean, at least for baby teeth, you just DM the Tooth Fairy, she drops a dollar or two under the pillow and you call it a day. —Side note, what are kids making these days for teeth? I imagine with inflation the whole exchange is worth more now than it was 25 years when I last cashed in on that ‘savings bond’.

Before you answer the real question at hand, I feel like I must explain my situation just a bit. If you are squeamish…move along..trust me..

It all started with an ant bite. Yep, you read that right, an ant bite. If you are a long time follower of my blog, you know that 1. I already hate ants (read here) and 2.  I take care of my mom who is in ‘end stage renal failure’.

My mom, who is freezing even when its 90* outside (side effect of Dialysis), has turned my garage into a little living room complete with T.V. , fridge, recliner and microwave (sounds weird but I promise you, a lot of people do that around here..).

One day the ants went marching one by one (hooh rah..hooh rah..) and decided to make a picnic of my moms foot while she was napping post dialysis. These ants weren’t just black ants, by the way, these were Texas Fire Ants. Other wise known as ‘satan’s little gardeners’.

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This situation all took place last summer. Since then, she has had two surgery’s. One to remove her big toe (buh bye..) and the second surgery to try to save the another one (spoiler alert..second surgery didn’t work)…Now we have a long-standing appointment every Wednesday to see her podiatrist/wound care specialist in an attempt to help her body fight off an infection where every one else would just rub some cream on it, grab some gasoline to light the ant mound on fire and then call it a day.

Now, to say I’m squeamish, is an understatement. With that in mind, my mom often excludes me from graphic discussions about what is going on underneath 30lbs of gauze and bandages on her foot. Until one day, I walked in on my mom and her home nurse re doing the dressing on her foot. It was then that I noticed that she was down half a toe. As you can imagine, I had some questions and a lot of statements. Mom and the nurse laughed as they realized I was pretty much clueless to what was going on. Apparently, they have been anxiously awaiting for the toe to drop off. Just wating…like you wait for pizza rolls to cook in the microwave. Ding..its done or gone. (Andddd I just ruined pizza rolls for myself…)

So, here we are one month, post-toe and I have yet to present my mom with an adequate gift to commemorate such a ‘special’ occasion…here are some of the leading ideas suggested by friends, family and the Dr. himself….

“You Are An Obsession, My Obsession..”

I can’t just casually like something. Nope, not me. I’m either all in or nothing at all. I am that person who goes to the store, buys 50 bags worth of groceries and insists on carrying them all into the house in one trip only to drop them on the counter and want to give up. This is an issue. Take for example, this blog. Four months ago I was writing two posts a day, four times a week, then..nothing, blank spaces, crickets.

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Example 2: Cross stitch, sewing, crocheting. There was a point in time where I would stay up until 3 in the A.M. working on one large project or watching every how to Youtube video, only to shelf the whole unfinished project to pick up another hobby.

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The Facebook Album of where pinterest projects go to die….

Example 3: The gym. Probably the best obsessive hobby to have, there was a time when my husband and I lived at the gym…now, we send postcards and share fond memories when we can.

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My current obsession? Books. I’ve always liked to read, (I grew up without internet and cable tv…better, simpler times!) but college seemed to kill the ‘read for fun’ idea for me so I stopped. I picked it back up in October and now I am currently reading anywhere between 3-4 books a week, and we aren’t talking small books either. I go to bed with a book in my hand and wake up with a book in my hand.

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My goal was to read 50 books by 2020…half way through May and I’ve read 43..

Now, I know what you are thinking..It could be a lot worse…I could be obsessing over drugs, alcohol or even worse TWINKIES…(a twinkie does sound good right now….) but I am here to say this type of obsessive behavior is exhausting for not only me, my poor husband who has to try and keep up with me,  but my house as I am running out of room for the hobbies I take up only abandon months later.

A skilled proffesional would probably argue that this obsesessve behavior is my minds way of dealing with (or rather not dealing) stressors in my life. I could get behind that, but I have no time to meet up with said skilled proffesional, given all the unfinshed new AND old projects I have yet to complete…(ha)

Sooooooo In an effort to correct my obessive tendencies, my goal for this 2019 summer is, EVERYTHING IN MODERATION!! (except baseball…that love affair has been going on since the mid 90s). If I want to blog here and there, then read for a few days than put that book down and pick up some knitting needles to learn how to make a blanket, that is fine, but I will by NO MEANS, buy every size needle, every book available or hoard every color of yarn known to man to inevitably make half of a dish towel..(besides..if you have followed along this far…you should have guessed I already have a crap ton of yarn..)

 

So with that said..LET THE SUMMER OF MODERATION BEGIN! What should I write about first, or not write about until I’m ready to write..you know..in a non-obsessive way?

 

P.s. (do people still P.s. anymore?) I want to know if I am alone or not. Do you obsesse over something more than you wish you did? Please don’t leave me sitting alone on the crazy train, the trip is quicker with friends…ha!