Football From The Eyes of an MLB Fan

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“As for me and my house, we serve the Lord and the Chicago Cubs….”

This past weekend on a whim, my husband and I decided to go to the NFL wild card game between the Houston Texans and the Indianapolis Colts. My football appreciation starts and ends with Super bowl Sunday. I’m there for the food, commercials and half time show. Because I am not a diehard Texan or Colt fan (even though I grew up in Indiana) I went to this game with no expectations other than a fun afternoon and a good fight between rivals. While we had a blast (we really did) I left the game with a lot of observations and a few questions for the NFL and Texan fans.

Observations:

  • Football spectators are way louder and more alert than baseball fans.

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  • The Texan announcer excitedly requested that the fans SHOUT out the last name of the starting lineup, citing it as tradition. If I knew there was going to be a quiz, I would have studied. (probably not)

 

  • If you are going to cheer for the visiting team, do so at your risk. Football fans tend to be built like the football players they cheer on. Say the wrong thing and a tackle could be in your future.

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  • It is harder for a novice to follow football in person than on TV. The yellow line of scrimmage (had to google what it was called) does not actually show up on the field. You have to find the guys on the sidelines with the sticks and connect the dots yourself. When I finally find out whats going on, I’m the only one cheering.

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  • Speaking of ‘harder to follow in person’, the flags on the field make a lot less sense if the TV commentators aren’t force feeding me the facts. I was left to my own devices to decide what the heck a “neutral zone infraction” was. Heads up, it’s not passing gas in the middle of a huddle. Although I imagine some deserve a 5-yard penalty for that.

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  • 15 minutes in life and 15 minutes at a football game are not the same. That being said, I grossly misjudged the length of time my bladder is able to hold liquids safely. Towards the start of the 4th quarter, I quickly realized I needed to use the restroom. “Only 15 minutes left, I can do this…” 45 minutes later I am begging my row to stand and let me out in the middle of a tense play.

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  • In relation to the above observation, don’t drink copious amounts of water unless your seat to aisle access ratio is less than 3. You haven’t lived until you’ve straddled 6 adults and 1 child while trying to get out of a crowded row doing the “I have to pee” dance.

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Questions:

Where did this guy buy his ticket, because I didn’t see the option for section 615 row M seat 16 with optional spa and facial package.

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What bet did this bride lose to not only have to go to a football game minutes after saying “I do” but to do so in the nosebleed section. Also, pretty sure they could have saved money with a caterer at the reception vs. the concession stand.

What is this guy’s game day routine look like? “I need to go to bed early tonight honey, I want to get up early and do my hair for the game in the morning.”

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Do the Cheerleaders ever fight over where they stand during the game. They divide them between the four corners of the field. You can’t tell me Suzy isn’t upset that her BFF Jill is on the opposite side with her enemy Jolene, and don’t get me started on Karen pretending to best buds with Macey.

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Are you still considered a band wagon fan when the closest thing to representing team gear is wearing a hoodie that says Indiana on it?

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 All jokes aside, congratulations to the Indianapolis Colts! We had a blast at this game which is surprising because I walk a fine line between introvert and high functioning agoraphobic. Ha. Tell me friends, what sporting events do you enjoy in person?

Published by

Jennifer Shidler

I am a Hoosier at heart who has moved to the heart of Texas with my husband Matthew, our cats Rowdy & Mosby and our dogs Lucy & Wrigley. Matthew is a Chief Flight instructor at a flight school in Austin and I care for my mother full time and write random thoughts and posts in between. I started writing this blog as a way to keep people back home updated on our lives here in Texas, and has turned into a way to relax, think and to make others laugh!

4 thoughts on “Football From The Eyes of an MLB Fan”

  1. I love both sports- love baseball more though- one difference is the seasons- 16 games for NFL and 162 for baseball– one football game is a lot more important than one baseball game obviously so a more relaxed atmosphere results in the stadiums. 2- baseball is best at the ballpark- football best on television. 3- 15 minutes in the NFL or even 2 minutes as my wife reminds me now and then are a lifetime. I don’t know how many times i’ve said’ only two minutes left in the game then we can go etc…for sure 15 minutes of a game isn’t 15 minutes of real life!!

  2. Your description of being between introvert and high functioning agoraphobe is totally me. Living in Blacksburg, home of Virginia Tech, I feel like I’m supposed to love going to football games. But I just don’t. And it’s not that I don’t enjoy a good football game. It’s the crowds that get me. And as much as I love people watching, I just can’t get over my discomfort of being surrounded by tens of thousands of rabid Hokie fans. If I got invited to watch a game from the president’s box, sure. Otherwise… give me a good watch party at someone’s house where there will inevitably be cocktail weenies served.

    1. The crowds are what get me too. I don’t even go to grocery stores any more because the crowds in the lines and aisles I feel trapped. Curbside pick up & amazon for the win! We managed my crowd anxiety by literally getting to the stadium as soon as the gates opened (while most were still tailgating) getting to our seat and then not leaving (except for 1 potty break) until most of the stadium had cleared out. It helped that the home team had sealed their fate half way into 4th quarter so sad fans left early lol

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