Pierogi Math

I’ve been bit by the “Baking Bug” which, from what I hear is similar to being bit by bed bugs but this is messier and more painful.

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It started harmless enough. We are within spitting distance of thanksgiving which means Hallmark is full of all these wonderful scenes of happy people baking these perfect cookies and pastries.  They made it look easy, so I took the bait and made cookies….from scratch…..for the first time ever. Needless to say, 3 days, 2 audio books and countless dishwasher loads later, I have 40 marginally attractive cookies ready for consumption by anyone willing to risk their diabetic status and dental fillings. Let me know if you need my address.

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But this wasn’t enough for me, oh no! I craved more! More mess, more dishes and more “Hey Siri, how long should you melt butter in the microwave?”

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While cleaning earlier this week I came across my daily planner from my freshman year of college. I thumbed through the 12-year old items that I once thought worthy of a bullet point, expecting to see reminders for assignments that may or may not have been turned in on time. Then I saw it in all its highlighted glory “Pierogi Night.” Oh! Pierogis, how could I forget every one’s favorite polish treat! Lost on what a pierogi is? Let my Veggietale friends, Bob and Larry, break it down for you here!

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There were two distinct groups of people freshman year of college. Those who hated the dining hall experience and saved their meal credits for the Campus commons on the weekend and then those who had the dining hall webpage saved on their desktop, so they could plan their schedule around where their next meal was coming from. I’ll let you guess which group I was in.

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Seeing that I haven’t had a decent pierogi in 10 years, I asked my trusted advisor Siri for her best pierogi recipe.  As if the adventure was kismet I had ALL the ingredients on hand. I jumped out of bed, laid out my clothes for the day and hopped in the shower. I needed to feel and look my best for this polish adventure.

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The whole journey, while messy wasn’t terrible, but wasn’t pleasant either. Just picture Lucy and Ethel on the conveyor belt but instead of chocolate and a shift manager to fight off, I was covered in flour and dough while also feigning off two cats with a rolling pin. Yep, it was every bit dramatic as it sounds.

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I also failed to realize when I began making this dish was the number of pierogis I would be left with. 34. I made 34 pierogis for two people, 1 of which I’m not even sure likes pierogis. Hopefully he does because we each have 17 of them to consume in the next 3 days. Per person That’s 5 ½ pierogis a day, or alternatively 2ish pierogis a meal (breakfast, lunch and dinner) for three days straight. That’s a lot of dough and potato. I don’t know if that is a commitment I was ready to make yet.

What would you like to see me bake next? Leave me a recipe link in the comment box down below. And please, for the sake of my arteries and refrigerator space, make sure the recipe doesn’t make enough to feed a small army!

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3 Comments

  1. Wacky Cake (requires no mixer)
    In 9×13 pan dump:
    3c. Flour
    2c. Sugar
    5 heaping T. Cocoa
    Stir til blended then make a small well in the center of dry ingredients then add:
    9T. Shortening (melted)
    1t. Vanilla
    2t. Baking soda dissolved in 2 c. Water
    2T. Vinegar
    Stir together in cake pan til we’ll blended, making sure it is blended to the corners of the pan
    (It will bubble up like a volcano erupting and you’ll feel like a scientist!) Then it will blend up well
    Bake 35-40 minutes at 350 degree or til toothpick comes out clean when inserted in center of cake

    Frosting to Die For (requires a mixer)
    In small sauce pan cook over medium heat a mixture of:
    2/3c. Cold milk mixed with 2 T. Flour
    Cook til consistency of mashed potatoes then set aside to cool completely
    Then, in mxing bowl combine:
    1/2 c. Butter and 1/2c.Shortening
    Beat on high speed for 2 minutes Then add:
    1c. Sugar
    Beat on high speed for 4 minutes Then add:
    Cooled flour/milk mixture
    1t. Vanilla
    Beat for 4 more minutes on high speed.

    Spread frosting on complcooled cooled cake. You’re going to love this cake! It has been a family favorite in my family since I was 4 yrs old. All my siblings still make this to this day. And the frosting is good on many types of cakes.

    Notes I have used veg. oil in place of shortening in the cake batter, but NOT the frosting! Since I usually have to buy a small cannister when I make this, I usually use it in the cake too for better consistency

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