The Ants Go Marching 1 by 1, Hurrah! Hurrah!

We did it! Matthew and I have been wanting to start our own business for a while, but we couldn’t decide what direction to go in. Luckily for us, a lucrative business opportunity presented itself and we just couldn’t turn it down.

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I know what you are thinking. “This is so sudden Jennifer, how did this happen?” Basically, our house had come under attack. Due to the drought in our area, ants, who generally live their lives outside, came inside in an attempt to find water. They seemed to really enjoy our spacious sink and views out our kitchen window. We spent days battling the pests, guests with no real success. It wasn’t until I saw an ant taking a refreshing dip in a measuring cup, that I realized they were just trying to escape the pressures and realities of life. (same here, ants, same here).

ants-in-the-kitchen

So, might I formally introduce to you Château Shidler, Central Texas’s premier luxury ant resort!

 

 

Chataue

 

Relax

You are Welcome Here!

Tired of being turned away from every home you visit? Look no further! Chateau Shidler is a rustic 21st century home, which offers a mix of quaint and second-hand furnishings within. We are centrally located on a busy street with over 10 garbage cans for you to explore. Newly renovated hotels complete with 10 doors is guaranteed to fit you and 100 of your closest friends.

Sit Back and Relax

The Spa is set around a man-made, stainless steel pool with custom sponge floats. Looking for a more intement experience? Visit our candle lit serenity deck and lounge next to our cozy vinegar infinity pool.

Looking For More Of an “Active Retreat”

You are invited to climb one of our many scenic trails that take you down our custom stone back splash and over the majestic Keurig ridge to coffee mountain. For the thrill seekers, take the self-guided excursion up our 8-ft cabinet wall before diving down the island light fixture.

We Offer an Extensive Menu Guaranteed To Fit Every Taste:

  • Blue Buffalo Kibble (lamb and beef flavor)
  • Meow Mix (chicken flavor)
  • French Fries
  • Toast Crumbs
  • Pasta Sauce (Aged to perfection in our finest pans)
  • Hunter/Gatherer Packages available (Upon Request)

 

Thirsty? We Have A Wide Selection of Drinks

  • Vinegar Water
  • Droplets of Orange Juice
  • Stale Coffee
  • Milk (for an extra cost)
  • Raid

Resavations not required but prefered. 2 night minimum stay in our newly renovated hotel required for weekend and holiday guests. Earn bonus towards your next stay for referring us to your friends! Other places say if “You can check in, but you won’t check out” well, we will let you leave, if you take your friends with you.

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5 Comments

  1. I’m running something similar out of my home. Except it’s not as nice as yours. And I have yet to receive payment for any of my guests’ overnight stays.

    Seriously, though… I’m pretty sure they march in and out of those ant traps laughing all the way back to their queen.

  2. Hilarious! If you truly want to stop your guests, try this: https://boraxantkiller.com/step-by-step-instructions/ My wife makes this without the syrup and uses water bottle caps as the “trap”. Your guests will flock to this delicious cocktail. The number of guests getting drunk from this mix may alarm you. Let them imbibe. In a matter of a few days you will be alone and lonely as they all crashed their Austin-Healeys on their way home. Be cautious. Your friends will not return for a year.

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