The Courting Rituals of Man and Cable Company

 

The time had finally come! Matthew and I have been in Texas for over 6 months, and while in my last post I spoke of the amzingness that is Telemundo, who are we kidding, we miss our regularly scheduled programming….in English. As we began the selection process, I could not help but think that picking a TV internet provider is like watching a late night dating show. Just like deciding whether or not a guy gets a first date, a lot of thought goes into the customers decision into picking a proper cable company. Many suitors come a calling, they fill your mail box with love letters (junk mail) and call and ask if we are ‘satisfied’ with our current provider.

"Shhh! Be quiet, and Look closely as we observe the customer and the cable company in their natural habitat during their ever awkward courting rituals."

Jimmy Fallon, how i love thee!

And like a bad dating experience, I’ve been burned before, so it took a lot for me to decide to call up cable companies again. A quick recap of our previous dating history; Time Warner and I were in an on and off again relationship for 3 years during college. It was good,real good.  When I moved after every school year, they followed me, I rarely had to have anything replaced and they provided to me all the services i needed for a minimal price. What more could I ask for? Then I got married and moved away to the country and we parted ways. And while we were not gone very long before we came back, the damage was done.I thought we could pick up where we left off, I had not changed any, and I had hoped the same for Time Warner. Boy was I wrong. We ordered our service, and after a few months, TW started acting up. The TV would go in and out, the DVR wouldn’t record, the internet was slow and unforgiving. They were no longer in this relationship 100%. We began to call in and try to get some answers and solutions to no avail. All we got were excuses. In the end we ended up canceling and some harsh words were said even went through a public break up on facebook (basically i wrote like 4 long comments on their facebook page, got like 50 likes from people all over the country). We told ourselves that we would never go back, we had grown apart, and they could no longer provide what we needed. "its not you, its me!"

photoCut to now, its been almost 8 months, (we canceled Time Warner almost 2 months before we left Indiana). Friends have asked, how have you managed to go with out TV. Here is the answer, besides Telemundo, which you all know I’m so fond of, we watched a fair share of DVD’s we both have been collecting since HS.   We have, in the last 6 months, watched EVERY episode of the following series..Mad Men, Scrubs, Roseanne, Seinfeld, Sex and the City and are working on M*A*S*H and Home Improvement. And while content, we needed something more to sustain us.

We wanted to take our time with this next decision, not jump into anything, weigh our options and find the right company that would complete our family. Come to find out, living in an apartment complex with a "no dish" rule pretty much makes your decision for you. So we made the awkward call that nobody likes to make.

"Hey, um, remember us..well, I know we said some harsh things to you back in Indiana, but you see, we miss you, and well, we would really like you to come back and be apart of our family. A fresh start you know, put the past behind us and start over. We really had something good back then, and I just know we can be great again..what do you say will you come back?"

Needless to say they came back to us, in fact they created an appointment for us the NEXT day to make sure we apart no longer (they missed us as well). Its been almost 2 full days since TW has been back in our life, and we are awe struck and are loosing brain cells by the minute. Its like we’ve been on a deserted island for a year eating nothing but sand and spiders and now we’ve been rescued and dropped off at Golden Corral for a free for all. We usually watched dramas like Grey’s Anatomy, Ken Burns documentaries or family sitcoms that attempt to instill some type of values..nope not this week. Its been nothing but Storage wars (the Texas version takes place in our back yard!) Teen mom marathons, Toddlers and Tiaras and Top Gear! We also found some new shows that push the boundaries of "how in the world." Words cannot describe mine and my husbands face when we stumbled across such television genius that is "Here comes honey boo boo child"

Watch now, thank me later!

And Duck Dynasty. Both shows bring pride to the southern states. (Sorry Pocahontas Arkansas residents, you will get your turn soon ;)) If you have not seen these shows, or just need to feel better about yourself, I suggest you take some time out of your day pull up your on Demand menu and sit back and relax.

When all is said and done, In the end, just like the night after a bad date, I’m still sitting on the couch in my pajamas with a pint of Ben and Jerry’s, a square of cookie dough, watching reruns of pawn stars and toddlers in tiaras, and we couldn’t be happier!

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