How not to bake a cake..iphone style!

Inspired by the impending launch of the iphone 5, i thought it would be cute to bake an iphone themed cake to bring to work to share with my coworkers. How hard could it be i figured..a cake pan is already the general shape of the iphone, slap some white icing on the side, black icing in the middle for the screen, draw out some icons for the middle and call it a day, presto..a cake sure to please all.

20120913-213602.jpg these are the ingredients and tools needed to make such a cake!

Step one..mix and bake cake..previosly beileved to be the easiest part of the process i was about to endure was quickly ended when i read the back of the box..i did a quick check while at the store to make sure i was leaving with ALL the ingredients..meggs, oill water..check check check.. but while in the comfort of my own home, my first challenge reared its head..1/4 cup of oil..1 1/2 of water and three egg whites (a total of six since i was making two boxes) ..excuse me..egg whites only..you can separate them? do they know this? I had in my possession 7 eggs all of which ready to give their lives for my iphone cake..room for error and practice..1 egg. I called both my mom and mother in law, both great bakers, in hopes of some advice on how to divorce the egg yolks from their whites. After positive reinforcement…I set out to get my bake on….

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….and failed miserably….

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Whats the worst thing that could happen if i let 1 or 6 egg yolks in to my batter…oh it could make my “white” cake yellow you say..hmm..well maybe apple will release an off white/yellow iphone..time to move on!

The mixing of the batter is quite possibly the best part of cake baking..look out Betty Crocker..Jennifer Shidler is in the house and shes got this white iphone cake under control!

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20120913-220833.jpg i dont care what they say on the back of the box..”dont eat raw batter…yada yada yada salmonella” I’ve been scraping the sides of mixing bowls and rubber spatulas since i was 5, and besides the small fact that i cannot separate the egg yolk from its whites..i like to think i turned out just fine!

Preheat the oven to 350 and then bake for 45 minutes! half way their ladies and gentleman..no fire alarms..nothing has been dropped lost or spilled and dishes are surprisingly washed right after their use! Anticipating that i would focusing all my energy on this cake I strategically bought a rotesiery chicken from walmart..

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Little did i know that i could have hatched, raised, harvested, plucked and cooked the chicken a lot easier and just bought and cake…but oh well, thats a lesson learned for next time.

As the caked baked in the oven for 45 minutes..(for once i actually remembered to set a timer) my motivation for this cake dwindled..not helped by the fact that i received my pre sale ticket code for my paul McCartney tickets..next thing i know its 10 pm..my white cake is as cool as a cucumber siting on them table..weapons of icing destruction un-used, un-opened and screaming to “create” and me sitting on the couch researching downtown Houston hotels and parking options for my concert all while simultaneously monitoring the “likes” streaming in from my facebook page from people who are (if not already) tired of hearing me talk about my sir Pauls arival to the lone star state. I began to feel guilty as the cake sat their..another unfinished product, a quality of which im famous for..I decided to trudge on even if i did have to be at work at 8 am..let the icing begin..

20120913-223614.jpg as i planned out my icons i realized my battle wasnt even half way done..i only had one tool to help me ice..and needed about 15 different colors ..yep definitely didnt think this through..after each color i had to rinse the icing out of the tube and then mix up a bown of other colors..i hate dishes and this project screamed 3 loads for the dishwasher..9 icons in and the cake began to look less and less like an iphone and more and more like a big mistake..

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yep folks..this is my cake…a product of love, stress and little to no knowledge of baking. Needless to say this never made it to work..i and those most honest around me..have decided that i should instead stick to selling the phone as opposed to trying to recreate it in more artistic forms..agreed..

Lessons I learned from this whole experience

1. there is nothing wrong with trying something new..and failing..
2. i need to invent a tool that divorces the yolk from the white
3. My husband just informed me, internet confirmed that the aforementioned tool does exist, and is now on my Christmas list.
4. that icing color stains carpet..who would have known..
5. From now on..ill shall employ/seek them help of others for all my baking needs!

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